Hi blog.
It's me again. I would like to get back on the sedih issue and wanted to die feeling.
So haritu (Isnin) oh hari ni Jumaat. Ok, Isnin arituu my lil sister came to my house, lepak2. Borak punya borak then I asked her, pernah tak she rasa mcm I rasa tu? Sebenarnya, obviously laaa dia mmg pernah ada sbb dulu dia diagnosed MDD masa dkt Birmingham.
Kepala otak kita pun mula la berjalan. Why is it I feel this way? And usually feeling ni akan datang bila suami start berhobi dengan rakan2. Mungkin lah ek, mungkin sbb Dari kecil I feel abandoned, so whenever people important in my life tak spend time with me, dia trigger. Mungkin lah.
Meaning to say, this is not me trying to blame sesiapa. I guess this is just how things are and how/who I am. Doesn't mean I have to believe whatever I think is true. These thoughts, they are just in my head but not necessarily the truth. Takkan la suami not allowed to live his life just because I tak happy dengan hobby dia kn. Apakah kehidupan kalau macamtu.
Ok, kena mengena my sister dalam story ni is; I told her, arituu masa I briskwalk sesorang, rasa sedih.. jalan2, rasa sedih. Teringat macam2.. fikirkan kehidupan yang mcm tak membanggakan, fikirkan arwah kakak, etc. pastu nangis.. bila sorang2 je boleh nangis so kita nangis je la. (Bila takde orang nampak la)
Pastu, baby (mylilsis) cakap, "haha briskwalk memang sedih. Kalau jogging laju sikit baru tak sedih" .
Ohhhh.. that made sense! Maybe kita melayan perasaan sorang2, cakap dengan diri sendiri dengan jiwa melancholy memang la sedih. Kan? Sebenarnya mana ada siapa yang tak sedih hidup dia. Tak semestinya u kena selubung diri dengan kesedihan selalu.
Kn?
